first day--almost no blogging
So I started my new career as an editorial assistant, and I spent the majority of the day reading. And that's what I get paid to do! The first manuscript I read was about the TV show "Lost" and I've only seen a couple episodes, but now I'm even more interested in it. I wasn't so lucky with the second manuscript: here's an excerpt from "365 Ways to Raise Great Kids", the type of book my mom used to pull out from this secret drawer during dinnertime and we would go around and have to answer questions from it. Kind of like "Loaded Questions for Developmentally Sound Children." It's called the Circle dance:Here's a way to start the day that will put everyone in a good mood! Get the family in a circle and hold hands. Start walking running, hopping or tiptoeing around in a circle and chant one of the following sentences at a time. The sentences should be things about your family that you all believe: we are loving, we are kind, we are smart, we are fun, we get along, we like to help, we are a team. The oldest person starts by saying one of these sentences, then everyone says it a few times together. Anyone can change the chant when they want, just make sure everyone says each chosen chant at least three times.
Uh, really. Imagine your own family participating in this activity. Can't you feel the family bonds growing stronger with each tiptoe? I'm still reading through it; unfortunately there's a suggestion for each day of the year, and I'm only around March. And this girl came back here to invite me for drinks and totally caught me falling asleep. Eek. You can tell I'm the new girl around here because I'm not used to any of their acronyms yet. Each time I write BF, I laugh to myself at buttfuck, not boldface. And I can't imagine telling anyone that here. Maybe after drinks, but I'll have to see what kind of senses of humor they have. I'm guessing they're not the buttfuck type.
posted by SES @ 12:27 PM
2 Comments:
BF, huh huh. Be careful admitting too much to coworkers. I think I've already burned several bridges by drunkenly spouting off that me and my buddies from illinois used to drink pee all the time. i once had a chance at making friends, but now i'm just the pee-drinking crapface.
here's how my deepest bond with my mother was formed: she saved my brother, my sister, and me from a rattlesnake when i was little. watching that crazy lady scoop up us kids then hack up the snake with a shovel forever burned a deep respect for her into my heart.
I just picture a super-hyper mom with only the youngest child participating while the other two protestingly drag their feet, chanting only by opening and closing their mouth and randomly humming nothingness along. The father is upstairs looking at gay porn and contemplating her murder by fork-fisting.
Who are they kidding? I couldn't even see the Flanders doing something this retarded. Please be more awful tips like this in your book!
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