put a few too many helpings of life transitions on my plate...
...and now I'm trying to figure out how to eat them all. Single-serving portions? Mix n' match side dish and entree? Little scoopings of everything balanced on a fork? Very confusing business, these food metaphors.But here's a "taste" if you will (mwa ha ha, pun-tastic) of my day:
What I eat for breakfast. That's right, no chewing involved; only coffee beans swirled with my saliva.
This is what I do all day. Aside from making 140 phone calls in a 2 and a half hour stretch of time, this is called team building and it is essential to my career. We support one another in our telemarketing efforts and speak in sales-y lingo. Acroynms are very important; I don't think I'd understand you if you spoke in full sentences. We're such a tight team, we even get a pizza party together on Friday. I still have not responded to the email: thin or thick crust?
This is what I eat for lunch. Actually, a co-worker of mine gave me some energy gum that just hit the market and it's called MAD CROC! And there's a picture of an angry crocodile on the front, jaws a' raging. It's so new that I couldn't even find a pic of it online, but I'm sure you can imagine the raw intensity of energy gum that's endorsed by a crocodile. Makes you feel like you're staying up all night with Crocodile Dundee, and he brings a machete to your office, while you pass out MAD CROC gum.
I tried to find a picture of the movie "Boiler Room" and I was going to pretend that's where I eat my lunch, but really, my unit just moved to a much scarier place on the floor below us, where they have wireless headsets and the sales guys walk around trying to close deals and talking in severe tones while making intense hand gestures. I haven't seen the movie, but there's tons of inspirational signs everywhere with quotes from the movie, so I'm thinking I should see that soon. If I'm doing career homework, and movie-watching should count, I think I'd rather watch "Glengarry Glen Ross" though, and get my weekly quota of the f-bomb.
posted by SES @ 8:40 PM
5 Comments:
wasn't there a line from Rocky what went something like, "i wanna see you eat coffee beans and crap a latte!" or something?
don't leave the blog scene for that long ever again. there will be consequences.
I agree with Tommy. Summer ryhmes with bummer now haunts my dreams.
You left out the part where mad croc energy gum tastes like "monkey stovepipe" (-kit). It also made my teeth numb. beware!
that's the most tenacious spam comment I've ever seen...
That Caffeine is a black widow in disguise. At bonnaroo I felt completely disoriented and wacked out from chewing that Jolt gum. Sorry did you say something? I've just been on mescaline for a couple days, thats all. TWO Owen Wilson characters make references to mescaline, hmmmmm.
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