Dance the night away!

scattered updates

Wish I was there. Love sucker punches and fat cheeks. And so like a Cub to do that.

Congratulations to my best friend Anna on her graduation from Eckerd College this weekend! Which means I graduated two years ago...unbelievable. I still think I'm 17. This is us in DC volunteering at a women's shelter called Rachel's Place. We only do volunteer work to cover up the blackness of our souls.

If you haven't seen this, go to milkfat.com to watch a live-action version of this already infamous trip. I swear, if she had dropped Sean P, that would have been the end of Britney Spears as we know her. This isn't as weird/bad as the Michael Jackson dangling his baby over the balcony thing, but the fact that her parenting is being compared to Michael Jackson's doesn't bode well for Britney.

Look at his little chubby arm flailing in the air: drop your drink Mom, and hold me up! Also, I think Britney's new bodyguard could be reincarnated as Rock Harders and/or Chest Rockwell.

Sorry, I tried to steal the video from milkfat.com but it didn't work. But if you're bored at work, they have all sorts of videos to watch that are stupidly entertaining.

Axl vs. Tommy Hilfiger! Apparently, at Rosario Dawson's 27th bday party at the Plumm in New York City, Axl made the mistake of moving Tommy Hilfiger's girlfriend's drink and Tommy punched him in the face. Who knew you don't mess with Tommy Hilfiger? And how sad for Axl Rose to be punched by a 50s+ fashion designer.

Here's Britney's bodyguard again, with a stache less impressive than Tyra's. Tyra, you are NOT in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model.

If you haven't seen the Brandon Davis video, please immediately go to: http://tmz.aol.com/article2/_a/paris-and-brandon-davis-the-incredible/20060517111709990001 and enjoy three minutes of celeb-hating bliss. But I must say, he's the sweatiest piece of shit to come along in a while, and I have less respect for Micha Barton for having dated him. Not like I had much respect in the first place; I mean, she's no Rachel Bilson. At one point in this video, he says Lindsay Lohan has "freckles coming out of her vagina and a seven inch clitoris", plus a "skanky pussy that smells like diarrhea." He's actually quite creative in his epithets. I was surprised the paparazzi didn't know what a fire crotch was, or maybe they just wanted to hear him explain it. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton is running along next to him, giggling like a moron and holding up her Sidekick for the person on the other end to hear Brandon say things like, "She's worth about seven million. Which makes her poor. It's disgusting. She lives in a motel in New York." Okay, I'm ruining all the good parts, you really have to see his fat, sweaty face yourself.

posted by SES @ 4:01 PM