three cheers for mood stabilizers
no, not really. actually, three anti-cheers for mood stabilizers. Last night when I was at work, my dad and asks if I "have a minute" (translation: ten to fifteen, bc that's how long it took him to tell me his story). I said not really, I'm supposed to be starting closing stuff and a bunch of customers were still browsing (i.e. they will come to the register with arms full of books and cards ten minutes before closing). Then he says, Dr. Burda called and wants to put you on a mood stabilizer.Hmmm. That's my pyschiatrist, I think myself. And he wants to put me on anti-psychotics (of course, when I told my parents this in the morning, before I went to work today, my dad was like, but they use this to correct other behaviors too. Thanks, Dr. Ruth--didn't realize how up-to-date you were with modern psychiatry and the variety of SSRIs); now I definitely have time to talk, Dad.
My week keeps getting better and better! If I had a "Best Week Ever" about my life, Wed. certainly would be "hump day", or me getting over the fact that I actually have to be on these meds.
I had plans to hang out with Zach last night, but we opted not to see a movie, since I was under strict (16 year old) orders to have the car home by 1230am and get a "good night's sleep." I'm starting to feel like I live in Mother Hubbard's shoe. We ended up watching the end of the All-Star game, then the end of Kill Bill: Vol. 2, a little bit of Entourage, then PBS ThinkTank. We both lamed out during ThinkTank and I almost fell asleep. Zach had already changed into Christmas-colored relaxi-clothes, so I knew the night would not last much longer.
I dropped off Katie's bday present on her doorstep (Tino was passed out on the couch), then drove home. I think I was listening to Kelly; I'm still obsessed with #s 2,3, and 5. ANYwho...waiting for me on the kitchen table was ZYPREXA (doesn't that sound like Zeus' secret mortal whore, with whom he cheats on Hera? Don't answer that. Nevermind) and I decided to read "Osco Pharmacy Answers" since they're so kind to provide me with info about the intense psychotropic drugs I'm on. Here's what they say ("count on people who care") about Zyprexa:
USES: This medication is used to treat certain mental/mood conditions (schizophrenia, bipolar mania). It works by helping to restore the balance of certain natural chemicals in the brain (neurotransmitters). Some of the benefits of continued use of this medication include feeling less nervous, better concentration, and reduced episodes of hallucinations. However, olanzapine has not been shown to be safe or efective in the elderly for treatment of delusions/halllucinations (psychosis) due to dementia.
Then there's a shitload of side effects I have to watch for. And I'm so happy to truly know what "neurotransmitters" are.
So, this is fun: I'm on medication for symptoms I don't have (nervousness, hallucinations, and poor concentration). I feel like a stoner again. I had to come home from work today bc I was slurring my speech like Norm after a long night at Cheers. I was enraged with our antiquated computers, they work so goddamned slow. I wanted to cry bc I'm actually on medicine that regulates schizophrenics. I think this weekend's homework is to watch 1) "A Beautiful Mind" [I actually never saw it, even though I like Jennifer Connelly a lot, and it won a bunch of Oscars]; 2) check out Prozac Nation from the library [I would rent the movie--Christina Ricci is Elizabeth, the writer of the memoir!--but it got universally panned and went straight to video; I try not to watch anything that's straight to video unless it has the Coreys in it].
I guess I have to do this in a way...though I feel way more calmed down since Eurotrip 05 and subsequent mania weekend (I arrived home drunk--don't even remember arriving into O'Hare I was so tanked--and hardly slept; kept going out bc I wanted to see so many people, which turned out to be a bad idea), my parents are still worried about me, so if I'm going to live here for a little while longer, I should probably make sure they're comfortable with me. And not have them think if I miss a full 8 hours of sleep, I turn into an idea-fueled, arm-waving Lindsay Lohan who is pissed at the world for not understanding. BTW, I think Star was right on when they asked if she was "a little girl lost"--totally! She is the next Drew Barrymore if Hollywood isn't careful.
Okay, I'm going up to Bacino's to meet up with Kate, and whomever else is there. Have absolutely nothing to do tomorrow so that means: CRAFTMANIA! Can't wait. Personalized tees and visors galore! More on this tomorrow, since I have to confer with my craft cohort, Lainey.
p.s. I'm gone/to find someone to live for in this world/there's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight/just a bridge that I gotta burn!
posted by SES @ 10:49 PM
2 Comments:
maybe you can counteract the 'mood stabilizers' with trucker speed pills from the gas station.
on second thought, don't do it. i don't want to be held responsible for encouraging medication coctails that lead to God knows what effects.
don't worry, I've taken (snorted) those trucker speed pills before, that have neon font screaming XXX-TREEEME Energy supplement!!! Totally natural, 100% drug free!!!
yeah right. There's a reason truckers are loners, and often unmarried.
they're hyped up on speed all day, and when they try to blog at the truck stops with DSL hookups, they end up blogging all their friends and family to death...
ah, the life of a trucker is lonely.
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