uh, I'm back?
I wish I had something monumentous to say to correspond with my title, like "I'm pregnant!" or "I served time in Iraq!" but (fortunately) I'd be lying if I said any of those things. Nothing new to report really except:
1. Stephanie from "Full House" was a meth addict! I can't wait to read about this. And Jodie Sweetin is married, which still strikes me as weird since I imagine her as perpetually 7, with her catchphrase "how rude" going up against Michelle's "you got it dude." Come to think of it, did every character on that show have a catchphrase? Uncle Jesse Katsapolis nee Cockrin: "Watch the hair!" Joey Gladstone, who was not an uncle, just a strange, middle-aged interloper: "Cut. It. Out." Danny Tanner, ye of the broom, "Waaaake up San Francisco!" I guess that could be Rebecca's catchphrase too. Only catchphrases I can't think of would be Kimmy Gibbler's and DJ's. I wanted to quote that episode where DJ tries to lose weight before a swimming pool birthday party, but was overcome with sappiness and couldn't think of one.
2. I understand why itunes is so obsessive. I finally took my ipod out of the corner of my room and decided to put it to use. Why, after six months of intimidation, did I at last open the box? Or more importantly, why was I intimidated by a teeny machine the size of a deck of cards that could ultimately change my life and allow me to have infite music at my fingertips? The very gadget I put on my birthday list (oh yes, I did have a birthday list--this is something you must do in my house unless you want an electric toothbrush or six-packs of socks) thinking it
would eliminate my need for mix tapes? Okay, wait, nothing will eliminate my need for mix tapes. Well, I finally started downloading at itunes and I can't get enough. My laptop is continually warm since I've been making exhaustive lists of every song I want/need. Which brings me to...3. I don't know at what point you give yourself over to an infommercial's cause. How many times do you have to see a Magic Bullet ad spot before you finally start thinking, wow, I could make a really mean salsa with that thing? And not only salsa, but chicken salad too! I'm a sucker for these things, but rarely does this interest lead to late-night (drunken) purchases. However, check back with me when I own my own home and my kitchen is a awash with worthless dohickeys and knife sets that can cut aluminum cans. That's actually kind of cool, and will probably be my first buy. But music infommercials....oh, those are another story. My latest weakness is the Monster Ballads Platinum Edition commercial which I only wish had a 30 minute show like the Time Life duo who talk about slow-dancing at their school's formal to the Righteous Brothers. Sebastian Bach is such a media whore (always a pointless commentator on VH1) that he would do co-hosting duties in a second. I hope he gets a different frost job if he decides to take on said gig. Now I drunkenly bought the original Monsters of Rock one night when I was in high school, and it turned out to be one of my fav double disc sets ever. Monster Ballads is similar and has a majority of the same bands so I'm not sure what about the compilation makes it worthy of platinum caliber. But I so look forward to the song "Carrie" every time I see this commercial, and can't wait to hit up itunes for it. The only prob I have with MBPE is this song, "Silent Lucidity" by Queensryche. When the fuck was this ever popular? And when did the lead singer from Fine Young Cannibals decide to jump ship and join a hair band? Weird.
4. So that's it. I feel like I'm starting out in blogworld again, since I've been away for so long but I really haven't had a lot to say. Not like this entry is of much substance, but then again, when was anything I wrote? Oh wait! I forgot! Something I wanted to write for Tommy, aside from sorry that I never texted or called you back. I found a little article in Readers' Digest about online dating and according to them, what's hot are niche sites that link the like-minded: famersonly.com, datingforsmokers.com and...get ready for this...theatlasphere.com, for single fans of writer Ayn Rand. I haven't visited it, but if you could find some girl who visits both datingforsmokers.com and theatlasphere.com, you'd have your ideal woman. Or maybe farmersonly.comb too, if you're into that overalls-and-manure sort of thing.
posted by SES @ 4:00 PM
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