Wednesday, April 05, 2006

I don't understand how my mom doesn't understand television and remotes, basically anything involving batteries or an electrical plug. I've decided I can't watch tv with her anymore because anytime she commandeers the remote, it involves a 12 step tutorial on how to change the channel. This was the conversation between her and my dad last night:

K: How do you see what else is on?
R: Push guide, the button in the upper right corner.
K: (pushes volume) There isn't a guide button.
R: It's blue and circular.
K: (finally locates it) Ah, here it is. But doesn't it tell you what's on right now? Like on a bunch of different stations?
R: That is telling you what's on all the stations. You have to scroll through the channels. Push the arrow button.
K: (pushes "guide" again)
R: No, that was guide. The arrows, in the middle.
K: What are these channels?
R: No, you pushed the down arrow, push the up one.
K: Oooh, the Daily Show! Oh, it's on at 1030pm. Ooooh, the Food Network!
[they proceed to watch Rachael Ray's $40 a Day]

She's lived nearly her entire lifetime with a tv and still needs to call my phone when she can't get the VCR to work. "What channel does it have to be on? It's not working." I'm convinced she just won't take the time to remember the simple instructions my dad has written out (!) for her before, so I have no sympathy when she makes frustrated noises and feigns helplessness when trying to change the channel. She also has this way of holding the remote and using her index finger to pointapoint the buttons, whereas the rest of the world smartly uses their thumb. How has she gotten this far in life?