quotable quotes
I'm at my bookstore, land of quotable quotes. Right now, I could go to any shelf I feel like and whip out some James Joyce snippets or Jon Stewart one-liners for everyone reading.
But I've decided to venture to greeting card ville, and find some good, sappy, inspirational quotes for all to enjoy:
[
editor's note: I meant to post a video of an interview with Rick James (bitch!) but blogger download didn't like the wpm format, so here's the link and you can enjoy it at your own leisure:
jamesbrown.wmv ]
"My life seemed normal until I described it to someone once."[
Tell me about it, girlfriend.]
"When things go wrong, don't go with them."[
If only it was that easy!]
"Friends are ordinary people. But with sprinkles."[
I'd like a scoop of that's gay with cheese, please.]
"Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us."--Oscar Wilde [
I wish you were still alive! You & Elton John would totally love each other. You'd probably dance on the Ellen show too.]
"It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice."[
My customer service mantra here at Anderson's. Since I'm not that important.]
"I do wish I could tell you my age, but it's impossible. It keeps changing all the time."--Greer Garson[
I do love broads with double initial-names, they always seem to have the best quotable quotes.]
"The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character." --Peter De Vries[
If I hadn't already bought my rents an anniversary card, this would be it. Instead of this killer quote, I got them some lame card from Jewel's 99 cent card section.]
"Friendship is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you reall haven't learned anything."--Muhammad Ali [
So true. Wish he didn't have Parkinson's and was still living fight to fight, full of quotable quotes the whole way. His daughter Layla kicks ass though.]
"If we discovered that we only have five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them."--Christopher Morley[
Wow. This one makes me want to cry a little. But I'm at work, so I won't.]
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to."--Albert Einstein[
Oh Al, you so crazay! But brilliant.]
"A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature."--Ralph Waldo Emerson [
He really spent some good quality time out there in the woods with Ralph, Waldo, and Emerson!]
"A friend is a second self."--Aristotle[
Like a secret sharer.]
"Live so that your friends can defend you, but never have to."--Arnold Glasgow.[
Hmmm...I think I warrant a lot of defense, and I'm trying to work on that.]
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."--Dorothy Nevill[
Another lesson I'm trying to learn. This quote can basically sum up my summer.]
"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."--Katherine Mansfield[
If you're reading this, you're my true friend. Or are you? Did you call me on my birthday? Then we're not true friends.]
And to end...
"I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation."--George Bernard Shaw[
Had trouble of thinking of an SES quotable quote, so I'll take a page from Katie's blog: Whatevs!]
I hope you're feeling very inspired. This is how I feel at work when, surrounded by crazy amounts of self-discovery-themed greeting cards and special gifts, I have to filter out the shit Mary Engelbreit quotes, and find the good beneath all this commercial crap.
have a nice day!
[
said in a totally ridiculous whatevs! voice]
more from the coolness chapter
<--I was going to post a picture from the latest issue of
US News & World Report, of four students smoking cigars and playing poker on the lawn of Harvard Yard, from an article entitled "Is Harvard Overrated?" but unfortunately I couldn't find the pic online. According to journalist Richard Bradley (not the author of the article), "In terms of status, reputation, breadth, money, power, and influence, no other university can equal Harvard--not in the United States, not in the world." Wow. This coming from a Yalie journalist! This was supposed to make you feel cool, Tommy, even though we all know you are.
ANYWAYS, since I couldn't find that photo, I decided to post miscellaneous things from my ever-growing photo files. This pic is from a bathroom stall of Bohemia Bagel, an internet cafe/fake Panera Bread in Prague. It was part of my photographic study of graffitti, which got kind of annoying for Maura after a while, since it's practically everywhere in Europe. This was by far one of the coolest examples I saw, though.
<--there's that damn peace sign again; I've sworn never to use it again, but I have a feeling I probably will for a long time. This strip was from Steph's bday at Rainbo, as you can tell by all the licking, kissing and nipple biting. Don't forget weird looks!
<--me, Rog, and Maura at an Italian restaurant inParis. She astounds us yet again with her multilingualism, and Rog can only order us "un carafe due," pronounced "oon ka-raff DO"
<--it took forevs for Rog to take this shot, on the bridge between the Left Bank and the Right Bank, and I think this was picture number 3 or 4. Note my exasperated face and Maura happily posing, plus how close we were to the street, but Rog insisted we stand there: "it'll look realistic, Sar!" I think the Parisian women attempting to cross the street thought we were crazy.
<--I'd kind of had it with photos that day. But the Seine River cruise was still way cool.
addendum to Hustle & Flow
The hook from
Hustle & Flow was actually "Whup That Trick", not "Whup That Shit" or "Whup That Bitch" as I originally thought--the end result is of course, very inspirational.
you know it's hard out there for a pimpwhen you tryin to get the money for the rentfo the cadillac and gas money spentbe a whole lotta bitches jumpin shipWe're debating the ending: possibly "be a whole lotta niggas talkin shit." For some reason, both Rudy and Ben think the last part should be about niggas talkin shit; they're just afraid to rap it in public.
Like at the Note.
Look for our demo, coming out in fall 2006. Rudy will be behind bars when it hits the streets, and Ben & I are the sole "marketing consultants" on the outside.
the latest from Cosmo girls
<--see that girl on the right? Or, the girl obviously not me or Maura? We met Kristen and her traveling Canadian friend Ryan when they were our roommates in a hostel in Frankfurt. She emailed me these pics at the beginning of the summer (of our sumptuous grocery store dinner) and today I got this in an email from her:
Apples and Wine
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked! Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Wow. So, while the last part was kind of funny, the entire email appealed to the diva-bitch in me that occasionally reads Cosmo at work. Yes, I really do, on occasion. But mostly when I feel like torturing with myself with some formulaic sex romp in the fiction section, you know: Juliet is engaged to Miles, a high-powered mortage broker. He's never there for her, even more so now that the wedding is approaching, and lately the sexy artist in her building has been catching her eye...what will she do when her future mother-in-law commissions Oliver to paint of picture of Juliet for the mantel of her future home?
Steamy sex on the floor of his studio with tons of messy paint, that's what! It makes me outraged that I actually read that, but then again, my usual magazine-fare could also be labeled trash rag. Could be. But I think celebrity obsession is better than demonizing the opposite sex, and "un-locking their secrets" via intense psychological analyzation.
I'm not sure who wrote "Apples and Wine" or if it was one of those chain emails where I'm supposed to forward it to 7 good apples I know, or else feminism will rot in hell.
Again, sorry feminists. This apple business is all bullshit. And was the weather ever considered way up at the top of this apple tree? Thunderstorms will knock the fuck out of this tree, and then the whole theory is gone...um, bananas? B-A-N-A-N-A-S?
tennis skirt + Windy city = new scads of people who have seen my underwear
I know, I know...we're talking the western suburbs here, Sarah; practically everyone and their mom has had a view.
But really, I'm trying to move out of that phase of my life. And by "phase" I mean, wearing pants that don't fit, thus creating display for my nice LBC.
Except for today. I underestimated today's wind-power, and decided (badly) to wear a blue tennis skirt I found in the back of my closet. The backstory on this tennis skirt is when I was 16 and 17, me and Lizzy, and sometimes Katie, would sneak out and go dancing at Zero Gravity. What bad asses! Ditching curfew to get leered at by creeps at an "all-ages" club that played the same late-night set as B96! DJ Maaarrrkkkski/Bad Boy Bill!!! But we usually wore these ridiculous tennis skirts, and New Balances, and cowboy hats, which made us stick out since everyone else was in clubwear (i.e. black outfits for the gentlemen and hooch tops from Contempo Casuals for the ladies, skirt so short it seemed optional).
Well, today I realized why we were stared at: the tennis skirts! I think I'm a bit taller now than I was in high school, but these things really don't cover your ass very well. But I never was a cheerleader so I didn't understand the benefit of knickers. Or what were those things called? That looked like underwear but weren't, and instead coordinated with school colors? Oh yeah: lollies. Or at least that was what they were called at LT.
But anywho, I walked out of the Jewel with my hands clenching my skirt since, like Marilyn in "the Seven Year Itch", it was billowing every which way but down. Plus, also adding to my idiocy was not opting for full-butt underwear: what was I thinking? Those working and shopping at Jewel, and then later outside of Bella Luna on LG Road, certainly got a view.
I should start a list of people who've seen my underwear. Actually, I don't think I should; the list is long and far-reaching, starting with Mr. and Mrs. Hoffman and ending with some G in a Pontiac Bonneville who stared at me as I tried, embarrassed, to get to my car without flashing more people.
Q. Who is Mike Jones? A. the shit!
Here's another question for you, this one taken from "Hustle & Flow":
Q. You stand behind yo product? [Ludacris says but his rap name is Skinny, and he's a bitch]
A. 'Sa pig's pussy pork? [Terrence Howard, my new fav actor, says this, but his name is D-Jay, and he's the pimp who rules north Memphis].
Ben and Rudy had already seen the movie, but wanted to go again, so we went to the Cantera 30 and my love for rap is redeemed. I even think I kind of like Taryn Manning, but still not so much. At least more than Brittany Murphy. But we decided we might go to Memphis, since I have some half-uncles and relatives there, and me, Ben and Rudy will cut our demo tape and hang out at crunk roller rinks. We also agreed to burn the soundtack since we were all obsessed with the "Whup That Shit" song (or was it "Whup That Bitch"? I can't remember the final product, but I did love "Stomp That Ho"), but we'll see which was of us actually does it first.
Today, the highlight of my day, whilst getting stuck in traffic on 294N for 2 hours on my way to the Niles Township Credit Union to re-finance a loan, was the air smelling like candy as I passed the Baby Ruth/Butterfinger factory before O'Hare. The scent was the best mix of chocolate, popcorn, cotton candy (so basically sugar) I've ever smelled.
So...my day hasn't been that great. I also heard "I'll Be Missin You" on R's satellite radio and I started crying, I swear. Not even about the death of Biggie, though Puffy's lyrics were incredibly melodious and reminded me of about 13 LT football games simulataneously, but bc I was thinking about how frustrating it is moving out of this fucking house and how sad "Hustle & Flow" made me, despite its minorly redeeming ending.
I'll think I'll feel better when I'm out of here and on Reta street.
