Haven't fallen in a while
I was reflecting today on how I haven't fallen in a while, and how much I have fallen in the past. It's something of a comforting certainty in my life, where as much like when you get your hair cut, you know that won't be the last time you're getting your hair cut (unless you're aiming for a Guinness Record); it will happen again, and again, and again. Life seems like a series of repetitive actions which you occasionally spice up, i.e. parting your hair on the left instead of the right. But whenever I fall, I know further on in the future, I'll be falling again. So I've compiled, with the assistance of Google on these high-quality images, some memorable falls:
I don't quite remember falling in Brussels, but feel pretty confident I laid on the cobblestone plaza for a minute or two of dramatic effect. I had a welt on my ass the size of a CD the next morning.
This is shadow-box me falling down the ramp of a ride at the St. Helen's fest, big winding arm propellers and an Equal packet or two flying out of my purse.
Other "Greatest Hits of Falling" include my seventh grade wipeout on LG Rd, when a driver pulled over honking and yell-asked if I was okay. Though worse embarrassment was felt in wearing the same Old Navy shirt the same day as another girl, my pride stung more than my tailbone. Also included is the "fall up" phenomenon, which has occured up many a high school stairwell, cement steps, escalator, spiral staircase, basically any structure joining one floor to the next.
I cannot calculate to what percentage alcohol and idiocy play a part in my frequent falling. I would guess slim to none.
Labels: falling history
One day, I'd like to do this:
Or this:
Labels: insulting receipts, ketchup art
I posted this "goodbye letter" from
Passive Aggressive Notes for a couple of reasons.
1. The subject heading; a lot of people use "holla" lately
2. We have not yet received a farewell email at my company in this vein; and by vein I mean it's weird. It takes a bit of investigating to understand what he's doing with the whole "Metro, this is _______." opening/closing. At first I thought he was being creative and poetic, like when you're on an airplane and the captain gets on the intercom saying, "Southwest, this is your captain speaking. Blah blah turbulence blah peanuts blah cruising altitude." But then I realized that was how this staff writer answered his phone, so he was just inserting bitter irony into a job that was ummm, interesting, as he puts it. Usually our farewell emails are after the kooky office party where people stand around awkwardly, waiting for the departing to give some sort of speech while everyone stares expectantly at the spread of food on the conference table. The email comes about 15 mins after the party organizers begin cleaning up, and it's very cheery, like "You guys are the best!! Here's my contact info, KIT!!" So this rather salty email from a disgruntled staff writer made me laugh. It reminded me of when Erich posted his goodbye email to his work, and it was basically an office supplies free-for-all.
I was going to post two other successive photos from PAN, but I haven't been on blogger in so long, I can't remember if when you post a photo, it goes straight to the top of the post, or if it goes below a previously posted photo. Sheesh, I give up. Basically, it was a photo of a pink sign posted in some dorm bathroom by "Lisa" who says something to the effect of: "Hey girls! Love sharing space with you but I'd super appreciate it if you cleaned the hair out of the drains after you finish showering! <3 :)!!!! Lisa" In the lower right corner, there's a huge dick and balls drawn in blue pen with a little stick figure sucking it labeled "Lisa". The follow-up gets ugly, when Lisa drops the nice girl act and posts a sign that says, "Dear Nasty motherfucker, I will fucking kill you if I find you. You vandalize my notes and keep leaving hair. You must like living in a den of filth. I will fucking pull out your hair. Stop." Written in angry red marker too. It was a hysterical progression, I even think there's more, as the vandalism and hair-leaving continued, but I didn't copy them all.
My WWII book got dumped, or at least put on the back burner, so I'm back to doing 1999 People mag crosswords, or if I'm lucky, someone leaves a copy of today's RedEye on the freebie table and I do that crossword. I may just post again today.
Labels: labels are gay
Tommy Lee vs. Kid Pebble
I love to follow the life of Tommy Lee. The last time I catalogued his latest exploits was back in the summer of 05, with his NBC reality show about going back to college. In between then, he's had sex with a buxom blond (who actually was NOT Pamela Anderson) on table at a party after exclaiming to a server, "Yo, is it alright if we have sex in here?" That was the most interesting. Until now. At Sunday night's VMAs, Tommy Lee got bitch slapped by Kid Rock, both men famous exes of Pamela Anderson. Kid Rock said Tommy Lee provoked him, but I think the provocateur was Pamela herself, who can't really seem to let any ex go. But here is what Tommy had to say on his blog:
Yeah!! .....here I am minding my own biz having a great time with my friend Criss Angel (magician) and watching the MTV awards in the front row saying hello to all my friends......Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore....and also say hello to my friend Travis Barker and his wife!.....and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me.....and he's sitting with Miss HOT Megan FOX so I go over and sit with P! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance....("I apologize sweetie.....I had nothing to do with the timing and disrespect")......back to the stupid-ness!!....so..... I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble...I stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say "Hey dude...What up"?? He punches me in the face.....well if ya wanna call it that!?....more like a bitch slap!.......Wuss!! Anyway....i go to knock this jealous country bumpkin the f$%k OUT....and before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly ass mug ....security guards... grab me and haul my ass outta the award show! So I'm fine and of course leave to my room with police and owner of the Palm's George Maloof......the rest is paper work and bullshit!... Anyway...... I would like to apologize to Alicia and George and MTV for the disrespectful bullshit caused by a piece of shit called Kid Pebble!!
My fav part is: "before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly ass mug", and of course, the whole calling a "Rock" a "Pebble." And you say you didn't go to college? That's clever shit.
Labels: bitch fights, Kid Rock, Tommy Lee
Reading people's archives: blogger no-no?
No news: sometimes I'm bored at work. Also no news: there's not a lot of updated material in blogworld these days. So, in an effort to avoid blogging myself, I've taken to reading archives. It's funny to piece together a summer through three different people's interpretations of the same time period. I wonder though, is this too voyeuristic to be acceptable? Well, this is the blogworld of teabagging and rusty trombones; pretty much anything should be acceptable.
I'm turning 25 on Friday. Sean Penn, Robert DeNiro, and Davy Crockett will also be celebrating bdays (how they tied down Davy's bday is a mystery to me)...as usual, I'm going to Red Lobster, much to the dismay of my fam. Have plans of meeting Katie at Bistro Margot, so if anyone would like to join me for a drink, call me.
Labels: archives, bdays, Red Lobster
this one takes the cake (and not the hippie cake pictured below)
This letter is from my new fav site, passiveaggressivenotes.com (why am I plugging them constantly? I mean, I know the traffic on my blog is monstrous, and the comment section is being overwhelmed with responses, so this unnecessary plug, which could potentially reach thousands of people, won't get me free Air Jordans). I thought I would post it since many of us have been babysitters/nannies/mannies at some point in, as Katie would say, "our
careers." It's hysterical. Especially the capitalized style, I always imagine people yelling at me when they write in caps.
BUT HERE'S WHAT THE DAD HAD TO SAY (see? yelling): "explains an anony-dad in st. louis: “i asked our babysitter to fill out a short form for us on a daily basis, letting us know a summary of what happened during the day — when they last ate, whether they seemed like they were getting sick, that sort of thing. i guess it offended her.” Then the guy/girl who runs p-an.com commented, "an awfully long note for someone who doesn’t like paperwork, no?" Ok, I basically plagiarized that site worse than a high school paper on Moby Dick. So you don't even need to visit. Or you can, whatevs.
Here's Today:
1. Facebook is having a meltdown. They have a new Scrabble application but like many of the apps created by outsiders, there's a lot of flaws. I'm ready to drag out little-used but major-point words like gouda (alright I guess if you're from Parma and like cheese you may enjoy/know the word "gouda") but facebook started freaking out, "error" this and "error" that. I even tried to change my status to "Sarah is _______ (over Facebook)." but that gave me an error message too! Whatevs. I'm over being over with Facebook.
2. I've actually worked maybe 6-6.5 of my 8 hours today, a new record. We have summer hours at my work, so we get off on Fridays at 1230p, but that means we have to make it up during the week. Bogus.
3. Can we sign a petition to get Katie and Kristin blogging again?
Labels: too much to label
Weddings and whatnot
I went to my cousin's wedding this past "cool wedding date" 7/7/07 and for all intensive purposes, the remainder of my family was calling it a hippie wedding. They walked down the aisle to Donovan (I thought that was reserved for a Schneider wedding?), we marched in parade (with kazoos) to the chapel, and the bridal shower had us awkwardly sitting in a horseshoe-shape as my cousin's college roommate breastfed her two year old son (he was walking and talking! and I totally made eye contact with her nipple!). I did find myself wondering what the Longoria/Parker wedding party was doing while I watched a barefooted bride dance to the Beatles. For more of a feeling of the wedding, please visit their wedding blog at whatmemarry.blogspot.com: think Katie's blog layout minus all the fetal alcohol stories.
So I think a lot of people got married on that date. But really, their wedding was a perfect fit for them. Though there were a few too many cooks in the kitchen (well, only in the metaphorical kitchen; the actual food was awful) during wedding prep in the days before the ceremony, the thing went off without a hitch, and of course, the wedding plan cog was a'turnin in my brain. THEN I come back and I'm visiting the farthest stretches of blogworld, which includes checking Mike Boomsma's blog, which hasn't been updated since October, and Brett & Ruby's travel blog, November, AND I find out Kit and Natalie are engaged! As Mama Fratelli would say, "Alright, who's next?" Crazy.
Labels: Mama Fratelli, the fam, weddings
